Just how kinky do you think you are?

Our A-Z of Kink Terms

Here you'll find our own collection of kink terms with a brief explanation.

24/7:

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When partners in a relationship engage in some form of BDSM at all times (24 hours a day, 7 days a week).

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Abrasion: Use of friction with a rough surface against the receptive partner. May be used to sensitize an area of skin.

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Adult baby/diaper lover (ABDL): Adult babies receive gratification from role-playing an infant1. Diaper lovers receive gratification from the wearing and often using of diapers.

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Aftercare:

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The time after a BDSM scene or play session in which the participants calm down, discuss the previous events and their personal reactions to them, and slowly come back in touch with reality.

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Ageplay: Roleplaying where a "Daddy Dom" acts as a paternal figure to a "little girl" submissive (DDlg)1. This dynamic is not necessarily sexual and is centered around trust and care.

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Anal play: All about exploring the erogenous zones around the anus9.... Whether you're a fan of butt plugs, anal beads, or prostate massagers, this is a kink that can take your pleasure to new depths.

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Animal roleplay: Play where the sub acts like a puppy (Pup-play / Puppy Play)6.... From puppy play to pony play, this kink can be a fun and playful way to explore power dynamics and indulge in your animalistic desires.

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BDSM:

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A compounded acronym which stands for “Bondage and Discipline” (B&D), “Dominance and Submission” (D/s), and “Sadism and Masochism” (S&M).

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Blackmail (consensual): Where a submissive provides material that would be undesirable or have personal or career consequences for them if it was made public, in order to force them to stay in a relationship1. Commonly used as part of consensual non-consent where they can only refuse to perform an activity or have an action performed if such material is released to the public or some individuals.

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Bondage:

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A kink that involves restraining your partner (or being restrained yourself) for the ultimate power play9.... From silky scarves to sturdy ropes, there are endless possibilities for getting all tied up in the name of pleasure.

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Bottom: One who receives physical sensation from a top in a scene; the receiving partner1. What does top and bottom mean? Handkerchief worn on the right indicates a bottom.

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Brat / Bratting: A sub who behaves disobediently, mischievously, or uncontrollably; often to provoke a response1. This dynamic is consented to by both parties, where the top is often referred to as a "brat tamer”

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Breath control play: Restriction of oxygen to heighten sexual arousal and orgasm1. Methods to achieve this include strangulation, suffocation, and smothering1. Restriction of oxygen to increase pleasure (i.e. choking, asphyxiation, holding breath).

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Breast torture: Torture of the breasts1. Topics include Breast torture.

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Butt plug: A sex toy that is designed to be inserted into the rectum for sexual pleasure1. They come in a variety of sizes; some can vibrate1. Sometimes used in Petplay, with a tail attached.

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Chastity: A form of erotic sexual denial or orgasm denial whereby a person is prevented (often with a locking device) from access to, or stimulation of, their genitals, save at the whim or choice of their partner.

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CNC (Consensual Non-Consent): An agreement where parties act as if consent has been waived1. Consent is given in advance for some or any actions, and the dominant has the discretion to continue with any action or activity, even after the subject would have otherwise indicated they wish to withdraw consent.

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Cock and ball torture (CBT): Torture of the penis and testicles for sexual gratification.

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Collared: Submissive or slave who is owned, usually (but certainly not exclusively) in a loving intimate relationship1. A dominant may have multiple persons collared.

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Collaring: The formal acceptance by a dominant of a sub's service1. Also, the ceremony when a dominant commits to a sub (much like a wedding or other contract).

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Consent: Mutual agreement to terms of action, as in a scene or ongoing BDSM relationship1. Agreeing to certain acts in a BDSM scene or relationship.

Fetlife’s members only kinkionary outlines two consent frameworks:

Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC)

Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC) is a foundational ethical framework in BDSM and kink communities that emphasizes safety, sanity, and consent in all activities. Developed in the late 20th century, SSC has become a widely accepted standard in alternative sexuality communities and is often referenced as a guide to navigating the complexities of BDSM in a responsible and ethical manner.

Risk-Aware Consensual Kink (RACK)

An ethical framework within BDSM and kink communities that emphasizes informed consent, risk awareness, and autonomy. Developed as an alternative to the Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC) model, RACK encourages practitioners to understand and accept the inherent risks involved in BDSM activities rather than assuming all practices are “safe.” By focusing on informed choice and personal responsibility, RACK allows for a more nuanced approach to kink.

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Contrapolar stimulation: "Hurts so good!” A type of physical stimulation that incorporates feeling of both pleasure and pain.

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Contract: An arrangement that outlines the rules and structures of a BDSM relationship. It may be written or oral.

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Cuckolding: A kink where one partner watches their significant other engage in sexual activities with someone else29.... It's all about the thrill of jealousy and the power dynamics that come into play. A man/masc person who enjoys watching their femme partner have sex with someone in front of them.

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D/s (Dominance/submission): Play or relationships that involve a psychologically-based power exchange1. Are you a natural-born leader or do you prefer to surrender control? Dominance and submission (D/s) is a kink that explores power dynamics in the bedroom.

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DDlg (Daddy Dom/Little girl): Roleplaying where a "Daddy Dom" acts as a paternal figure to a "little girl" submissive1. This dynamic is not necessarily sexual and is centered around trust and care1. The female-led version of DDLG is MDLB (Mommy Domme/Little Boy).

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Dom: A person who exercises control (from dominant – contrasted with sub)1. This term is generally used for male dominants, but can be used for anyone regardless of gender. What does dom and sub mean?

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Dominant: A person who exercises control – contrasted with submissive1. The partner who leads the power dynamic in a dominant/submissive scene.

Domme: A female dominant (see also Dominatrix)1. MDLB: Mommy Domme/Little Boy

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Domspace: The euphoric state of mind a dom may enter during a scene. May include an intensified perception of the scene.

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Drop: What is Drop and Subdrop. Sub drop: A strong physical and emotional response experienced by a participant in a BDSM scene. This can last for minutes, hours or days and include flu-like symptoms and strong emotions such as shame. Tops can also experience drop after a scene. Drop can be somewhat mitigated but not fully prevented by aftercare.

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Dungeon: A room or area containing BDSM equipment and space for scenes.

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Dungeon monitor (DM): A person who supervises the interactions between participants at a play party or dungeon to enforce house rules—essentially, the bouncer of a BDSM event1. They may also help in basic ways, such as giving water to participants. Topics include Dungeon monitor.

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Edgeplay:

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Higher risk activity, physically and/or emotionally1. Because the definition of edgeplay is subjective to the specific players (i.e., what is risky for one person may not be as risky for another), there is not a universal list of what is included in edgeplay.

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Sometimes a useful term to help communicate, but it’s usually more helpful to talk about specific kinks than say “I’m into edgeplay,” as edgeplay is a very vague term.

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Edging: Bringing someone to the edge of orgasm and preventing climax (Ruination)

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Enema play: Gratifying or sensual sexual arousal experienced from the giving or receiving of enemas.

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Erotic humiliation: Humiliating someone during a sexual act1. This act could be either verbal or physical (for example, insulting a partner, making a partner display their private parts to a group of people, or even urinating or defecating on a partner)1. It can be a great source of pleasure for some people1. Topics include Erotic humiliation.

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Erotic sexual denial: Keeping another person aroused while delaying or preventing resolution of the feelings, to keep them in a continual state of anticipatory tension, inner conflict, and heightened sensitivity1. (See also tease and denial and chastity)

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Erotic spanking: The act of spanking another person for the sexual arousal or gratification of either or both parties.

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Fantasy and role-playing: One of the most common forms of kinky sex involves creating imagined scenarios. This could be as simple as talking about a fantasy in bed, to as complex as wearing costumes or acting out scenes in front of strangers.

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Figging: Insertion of a piece of peeled ginger root into the anus, vagina, or urethra.

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Financial domination: (Also known as money slavery or findom) is a sexual fetish associated with a practice of dominance and submission, where a submissive (money slave, finsub, paypig, human ATM, or cash piggy) will give gifts and money to a financial dominant (money Mistress/Master, findomme/findom, money Dom/Domme or cash Master/Mistress).

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Fisting: Inserting a hand into the vagina or rectum.

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Freeze and Fawn: What is Freeze and Fawn?

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Funishment: A portmanteau of “fun” and “punishment” used to refer to consequences given for the sake of mutual enjoyment rather than as a form of discipline meant to discourage a behavior.

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Genitorture: Torture of the genitals.

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Golden showers: Urinating on, or being urinated on by, another person1.

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Good pain / Bad pain: Terms used to distinguish pleasurable pain from undesirable pain1. Consent and context is important, and safewords are used to manage the need for changes in the scene to address "bad pain".

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Gorean: A lifestyle based on the fictional slavery practice outlined in John Norman novels1. The dynamic is typically male-dominant and female-submissive ("kajia")1. It is generally seen as distinct from the BDSM community at large.

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Gunplay: The practice of including actual (or simulated) firearms into a scene1. Topics include Gunplay.

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Headspace: What is a headspace? Subspace?

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Hogtie: Tying up a submissive's wrists and ankles, fastening them together behind their back using physical restraints, such as rope or cuffs.

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Human furniture: The act of dehumanizing a person for pleasure

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Impact Play:

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Part of sensation play, dealing with impacts from whips, riding crops, paddles, floggers, etc

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Inspection: A form of scenario play, usually in a Master/slave-like relationship, where a submissive has to strip naked at the command of a dominant and adopt a pose to have their body, posture, grooming, and appearance inspected.

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JOI (Jerk Off Instructions): A form of erotic guidance that encourages individuals to explore their desires and enhance their solo experiences38.... It's like having a personal coach, guiding you through a journey of self-discovery and pleasure.

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Kinbaku (Shibari): Kinbaku is a Japanese style of bondage which combines elegant simplicity and intricate patterns into Kinbaku-bi ("beauty of tight binding.")

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Kink:

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In human sexuality, kinkiness is the use of sexual practices, concepts or fantasies that are not conventional40. The term derives from the idea of a "bend" (cf. a "kink") in one's sexual behaviour, to contrast such behaviour with "straight" or "vanilla" sexual mores and proclivities.

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Knife play: Slow, methodical sensation of the bottom with the edges and points of knives, usually without cutting the skin22. Fear of the weapon plays a large part in the stimulus of the bottom22. Typically involves the dominant partner using a knife or other sharp object to create sensations on the submissive partner's body.

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Latex: A kink that involves wearing skin-tight rubber clothing.

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Limits: What someone will not participate in (hard limits) or is hesitant to do so (soft limits)

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Lifestyle BDSM: D/s, M/s, Lifestyle, 24/7, and TPE are different ways to refer to an ongoing power exchange relationship, beyond the context of a single scene or act.

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Masochism: Act of receiving pleasure from acts involving the receipt or infliction of pain or humiliation.

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Masochist: Person who enjoys pain, often sexually.

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Master/slave: A consensual relationship where people enter a D/s dynamic with a focus on service and obedience. This may be part of a 24/7 lifestyle and/or multiple scenes.

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Mindfuck: The act of manipulating someone's perception of reality.

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M/s: Shorthand for “master/slave”.

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Munch: A non-sexual BDSM meetup at a "vanilla" location with appropriate attire.

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Negotiation: The act of discussing rules and expectations within a scene, or in a BDSM relationship.

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Needle play: Piercings done with sterile needles of varying gauges, usually only for the duration of a scene.

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Nipple Play: A kink that involves stimulating the nipples for pleasure.

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Objectification: The act of dehumanizing a person for pleasure.

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Orgasm Control: Also known as orgasm denial or tease and denial, is a kink that involves controlling when and how someone can orgasm.

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Pansexual: A person who engages in erotic or sexual play with persons of any gender or sexual orientation.

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Paypig: Some people get off on giving away their money, and not in an altruistic way.

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Pegging: A sexual practice in which typically a woman penetrates a man's anus with a strap-on dildo.

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Pet Play: Are you ready to unleash your inner animal? Pet play is a kink that involves role-playing as an animal

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Play Party: A BDSM event involving many people engaging in scenes.

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Playspace: An area designated for a scene or BDSM play.

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Post-orgasm torture: Uncomfortable or painful stimulation of the genitals immediately after orgasm, when these are in a more sensitive state.

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Praise kink: Some of us appreciate positive affirmation, to the point where blood really gets flowing.

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PRICK (Personal Responsibility Informed Consensual Kink): A framework that emphasizes shared responsibility for understanding and communicating risks.

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ProDom: Male professional dominant who exchanges money or goods for BDSM services.

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ProDomme: Female professional dominant (charges money).

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Pussy torture: Torture of the vulva or vagina for sexual gratification.

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RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink): Describes a philosophical perspective within the BDSM community that prioritizes informed consent and awareness of the risks involved in BDSM activities.

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Rope bondage: The act of tying up or binding a person with rope such as in Japanese Kinbaku.

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Ruination: Bringing someone to the edge of orgasm and preventing climax.

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Sadism: The act of receiving pleasure from inflicting pain.

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Sadist: A person who enjoys inflicting pain, usually sexually.

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Safe word: A mutually agreed upon word, phrase or gesture that can be used at any time to communicate the need for reduced intensity, a break or an immediate stop.

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Safe, Sane and Consensual (SSC): A guideline, used by some in the BDSM community, that emphasizes ensuring that activities are safe, all participants have capacity to give consent, and explicit consent is obtained from all parties involved.

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Scene: Refers to the setting and participation of a BDSM activity.

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Scat play: Feces play.

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Sensation play: Class of activities meant to impart physical sensations upon a partner, as opposed to mental forms of erotic play such as power exchange or sexual roleplaying.

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Sensory Play: Are you ready to awaken your senses? Sensory play is a kink that involves stimulating the senses for heightened pleasure.

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Service submission: A person who enjoys performing a service in a sexual or BDSM environment.

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Slave: A submissive who consensually gives up total control of one or more aspects of their life to another person (their Master).

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Soft limits: Something that someone is hesitant to do or is nervous to try.

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Sub: Short for submissive.

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Sub drop: A strong physical and emotional response experienced by a participant in a BDSM scene.

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Submissive: A person that gives up control, either all the time or for a specified period (not to be confused with "bottom" or "slave").

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Subspace: A psychological state caused by excitement and sense of "letting go" of control during a scene.

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Switch: A person who is contextually dominant and submissive during the same or separate scenes.

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Tickling: A kink that involves using light touches and tickling sensations to induce pleasure.

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Tit torture: The act of causing deliberate physical pain to the breasts or nipples..

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TNG (The Next Generation): A tag commonly used by groups and organizations which cater to younger people involved in BDSM, typically ages 18–35.

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Top: The person "doing the action" (contrasted with bottom – the person receiving the action).

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Topping from the bottom: Derogatory term for an attempt to direct the top/dominant during a scene in a way not otherwise agreed upon.

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TPE (Total Power Exchange): A relationship where the dominant or owner has complete authority and influence over the submissive's life, making the majority of decisions.

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Training: Either referring to a short period of time, or an ongoing effort of the dominant teaching the submissive how to behave for their own preferences.

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Uniforms: A kink that involves wearing costumes or outfits to enhance sexual pleasure.

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Vanilla: Someone who is not into BDSM.

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Voyeurism: A kink that involves deriving sexual pleasure from watching others engage in sexual activities.

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Wax Play: A kink that involves dripping hot wax onto the body for pleasure.

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X: Also known as ecstasy, this is a street drug that you should not use during scene play, because getting wasted and sceneing is not a good idea for reasons of safety and consent.

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XXX: A kink that involves watching explicit adult content for sexual pleasure.

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Yoni Massage: A kink that involves sensual and erotic massage of the vulva and vagina.

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Your mother: The woman who gave birth to you may be into kink.

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Zentai: A kink that involves wearing skin-tight, full-body suits made of spandex or latex.

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Zipper: A series of clothespins along a length of string or yarn, then placed on parts of the body and removed either one by one or all at once to produce various sensations.

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Zoophilia: Sexual attraction to animals.